Helping Kids Enjoy the Holidays and Lose the Stress

The Halloween decorations are coming down and costumes are being stored away. All the joys of the big holiday season are just around the corner. How wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas can be for kids with a break from school, time with family and remembering family traditions and holidays past. But just like adults, kids can have added stress during the holidays, especially for those whose families have changed over the last year due to divorce, moves, death, mental health issues and military service overseas. There are things parents can do to help kids cope.

It's helpful to be able to recognize signs of stress. These include:

• Tears for seemingly minor reasons.
• Nervous behaviors such as nail biting and hair twirling.
• Physical complaints, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, diarrhea, etc.
• Regression to younger behaviors: bed wetting, eating with hands.
• Withdrawal from school friends or siblings.
• Any behavior that your child doesn’t normally do could be a sign of holiday anxiety

Parents can be proactive in helping their children enjoy the holidays by following tips appropriate for their children, such as:

Take it easy. This might require taking children out of the spotlight during holiday plays or performances at relatives’ homes; reducing the time you spend at parties by combining parties and get-togethers; and limiting travel plans.

Rest and relaxation. Make sure kids get plenty of rest. While it may be exciting to stay up late, lack of sleep often leads to increased irritability. If you don’t already know, ask your kids what is fun and relaxing for them. Do they wind down with music, reading, spending time with you, playing with siblings or doing fun activities like watching movies and sledding?

Remember routines. During the holidays children find their routines disrupted as they are often dragged along on shopping expeditions or taken to events over which they have no control. Especially for small children, when a routine is broken, stress can result.

Plan early and include your kids in the planning. Kids need some degree of control and predictability. Prolonged uncertainty, constantly changing plans or last minute decisions can all increase stress. Early planning may also help with sticking to routines.

Family traditions. Uphold and maintain family traditions even if a parent is absent. Kids count on certain traditions. They can have an important grounding effect by letting kids know that even though some things have changed, other things have remained the same.

Limit television and video games. Limit the amount of time kids spend alone watching TV or playing video games. Encourage physical activity and interaction with peers.

Don’t promise things you can’t produce. For example, don’t promise a parent will be home in time for the holidays if the decision is really out of your control.

Don’t try and compensate for an absent family member with lots of gifts. What most kids really want is your time and attention.

As the adult, take care of yourself. Try to avoid getting overloaded with obligations. If you feel stressed, it increases the pressure and tension on your children. Cope with your own holiday anxiety. The less holiday stress you feel, the more relaxed your children will be.

Give back. Volunteer at a food bank, kids’ hospital or community center. Find ways to give to your community; volunteering often relieves feelings of holiday anxiety. Check out Boulder County's Volunteer Connection Holiday Opportunity and Donation Guide for ways you can give back.

Keep up good eating habits. Between parents too busy to cook a nutritious meal at home and all of the sugary holiday treats, kids and parents end up with a stressed out, hungry family. Plan at least one healthy meal as a family everyday. Remember to toss in a healthy snack while you're visiting the mall.

Attitude check. Both children and their parents need to have an attitude check before the holiday season begins. Take a deep breath, and have everyone in the family pledge to make the holiday season a time of joy and peace. Remind everyone that with the right attitude, that goal can be met. Remember to laugh together.

With some planning and attentive effort, everyone can enjoy and have fun during the holidays. For more information and resources, check out these links:
10 Ways to Reduce Kids' Stress
Helping Children Cope with Holiday Stress
Holiday Stress and Children
Alternatives for Youth's Resource Page for Boulder County services

November Events

Longmont had many, many events available for families for Halloween to keep the holiday safe and fun. November has some special events of its own, check out:

Saturday, November 15, 11:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at Skyline High School - Alternatives for Youth's "Catching Your Future" college fair for 8th-12th graders in the St. Vrain Valley School District. The free event will include information about:

• Funding Your Future: Scholarship Opportunities
• Show Me the $Money$: FAFSA Review
• Positive Changes: Volunteer Opportunities
• Go Further go to College: College in Colorado
• Making your Statement: Writing for College
• What College Can Do for You: College Invest
• Take Action Now!: High School & College Student

A light lunch will be provided to all registered participants! Door prizes!!! (participants must be present to win) If you have any questions please feel free to contact : Josie Vigil at 303-776-8184 ext. 112. The event is sponsored by SASSE (Sharing Achivement for Student Success in Education).

Sunday, November 16, 7:30 p.m., Alternatives for Youth and Niwot Timberline Symphony Orchestra's Latin Adventures and Winter Dreams concert sponsored by Wells Fargo Bank. The concert will feature the world premiere of "Orchestral Poem" by Ecuadorian composer in residence, Daniel Brito, music selections from Tchaikovsky, Ravel, and Ginastera performed by the symphony and performances by Alternatives for Youth’s Folklorico Dance Group and Longmont Breakers. Tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for youth, seniors and adults accompanying a free ticketholder. Tickets are available at the door. Contact AFY at 303.776.8184 for more information and to purchase tickets.

Lowe's Build and Grow Clinics on Saturday, November 8th - Semi-Truck and Saturday, November 22nd - Football Goal at 10:00 a.m. at the Lowe's in the Harvest Junction shopping center in Longmont. You can register and also see a picture of the projects by visiting Lowe's Build and Grow. Free for kids of all ages (recommended for first through fifth graders and younger kids with parent help).

Yes! Charter Schools are Free

As we approach December, it's time for parents of students entering kindergarten as well as parents looking for different school options for their school age children to consider all the public school options in the St. Vrain Valley School District. Public school options for students in the St. Vrain Valley School District include:

• Each students' community school, which are determined by district boundaries and can be found by clicking here, Boundaries - Schools.
• Open enrolling in a school other than a student's community school. Students may apply to open enroll in a school between December 1 and January 15 of each year. For more information, check out Open Enrollment and More Open Enrollment policies.
• Alternative schools for high school students at Old Columbine High School (including Open Door and the Career Development Center), Adult Education (Adult Education is for students over the age of 17), and Universal High School at Silver Creek High School.
  
• Charter schools, which are public and free schools open to all students in a district. Admissions at most charter schools are done through a lottery process. St. Vrain Valley School District will have five charter schools in the 2009-2010 school year, many of which will begin taking intent to enroll forms for the lotteries beginning December 1 and require parents to attend an informational meeting. For more information about each school, visit Charter Schools.

Each child is unique and deserves an education that meets his or her needs. St. Vrain Valley School District continues to expand available options, but it's up to parents to help their children find the best educational fit. It's not to early to start planning for the next school year!

No "Kid"ding . . . The Impact of Truancy

Alternatives for Youth (AFY) is dedicated to helping youth succeed in school and in life. To this end, we offer a continuum of services from prevention (through our Celebrando la Familia program) to intervention (through our NorthStar program) to rehabilitation (through our Clearview Educational Center program). This fall and expanding in the spring semester, we have begun an early intervention program, Community Advocates, in partnership with the St. Vrain Valley School District (SVVSD) to work specifically with truant students.

Why target truant students? For several reasons, including:

- At a minimum, truant students are likely to be ill-prepared for skilled work, an increasingly serious problem in the U.S. for both businesses and tax-payers when adults are unable to earn an adequate living and turn to various welfare programs for help. One calculation estimates that one high school dropout can be expected to cost the public in excess of $200,000 (in 1997 dollars) more over the course of his or her life then if he or she earned a high school degree.

- Problems with school have been shown to be a risk factor for drug and alcohol use and for involvement with the juvenile justice system, and students with school problems are often truant. Beyond the mere fact of juveniles involved in crime is the cost of juvenile delinquency. In 2007 , Boulder County had 822 juvenile delinquency filings. (Colorado Juvenile Delinquency Filings)

- In fact, in Colorado, over 90% of youth in detention for delinquent acts have a history of truancy; more than 70% of suspended youth were chronically truant in the preceding six months; and nearly half of expelled students have been chronically truant in the previous year. Truant students are also at higher risk of dropping out of school (for more information on high school dropouts from an earlier "No 'Kid'ding . . . " article, click here.

- Truancy is a red flag that may signal any number of problems in a student's home, including poverty, mental health, and physical abuse, or issues indirectly related to school. One of our Community Advocates recently worked with a truant student who missed school because she didn't want to dress for gym and had fallen so far behind in classes she had panic attacks before school.

- Responding to truancy costs the school district time and money as administrators contact parents, try to help students, and, on the extreme end, pay for court fees for truancy hearings.

- Minority students are at greater risk for truancy, thereby contributing to the achievement gap. In the SVVSD, Latino students face higher issues with attendance. Skyline and Frederick High Schools each have an 86% Latino attendance rate, considerably lower than the overall district attendance rate of 94%.

- The cost of effective programs that correct truancy greatly outweigh the tremendous costs of high school failure both financially and in helping youth succeed for a better individual and community quality of life.

Research shows that highly effective truancy prevention programs must:
· Be comprehensive, flexible, responsive, and persevering.
· View children in the context of their families.
· Deal with families as parts of neighborhoods and communities.
· Have a long-term, preventative orientation, a clear mission and continue to evolve over time.
· Be well managed by competent and committed individuals with clearly identifiable skills.
· Have staff that are trained and supported to provide high quality, responsive services.
· Operate in settings that encourage practitioners to build strong relationships based on mutual trust and
respect.
All of these elements are a part of AFY's Community Advocacy program to prevent truancy in the SVVSD.

For more information, check out these links:
Youth out of School: Linking Absence to Delinquency
The Cost and Benefits of Three Intensive Interventions with Colorado Truants
National Center for School Engagement
Can You Go to Jail if Your Kids Don't Go to School?