Helping Kids Enjoy the Holidays and Lose the Stress

The Halloween decorations are coming down and costumes are being stored away. All the joys of the big holiday season are just around the corner. How wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas can be for kids with a break from school, time with family and remembering family traditions and holidays past. But just like adults, kids can have added stress during the holidays, especially for those whose families have changed over the last year due to divorce, moves, death, mental health issues and military service overseas. There are things parents can do to help kids cope.

It's helpful to be able to recognize signs of stress. These include:

• Tears for seemingly minor reasons.
• Nervous behaviors such as nail biting and hair twirling.
• Physical complaints, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, diarrhea, etc.
• Regression to younger behaviors: bed wetting, eating with hands.
• Withdrawal from school friends or siblings.
• Any behavior that your child doesn’t normally do could be a sign of holiday anxiety

Parents can be proactive in helping their children enjoy the holidays by following tips appropriate for their children, such as:

Take it easy. This might require taking children out of the spotlight during holiday plays or performances at relatives’ homes; reducing the time you spend at parties by combining parties and get-togethers; and limiting travel plans.

Rest and relaxation. Make sure kids get plenty of rest. While it may be exciting to stay up late, lack of sleep often leads to increased irritability. If you don’t already know, ask your kids what is fun and relaxing for them. Do they wind down with music, reading, spending time with you, playing with siblings or doing fun activities like watching movies and sledding?

Remember routines. During the holidays children find their routines disrupted as they are often dragged along on shopping expeditions or taken to events over which they have no control. Especially for small children, when a routine is broken, stress can result.

Plan early and include your kids in the planning. Kids need some degree of control and predictability. Prolonged uncertainty, constantly changing plans or last minute decisions can all increase stress. Early planning may also help with sticking to routines.

Family traditions. Uphold and maintain family traditions even if a parent is absent. Kids count on certain traditions. They can have an important grounding effect by letting kids know that even though some things have changed, other things have remained the same.

Limit television and video games. Limit the amount of time kids spend alone watching TV or playing video games. Encourage physical activity and interaction with peers.

Don’t promise things you can’t produce. For example, don’t promise a parent will be home in time for the holidays if the decision is really out of your control.

Don’t try and compensate for an absent family member with lots of gifts. What most kids really want is your time and attention.

As the adult, take care of yourself. Try to avoid getting overloaded with obligations. If you feel stressed, it increases the pressure and tension on your children. Cope with your own holiday anxiety. The less holiday stress you feel, the more relaxed your children will be.

Give back. Volunteer at a food bank, kids’ hospital or community center. Find ways to give to your community; volunteering often relieves feelings of holiday anxiety. Check out Boulder County's Volunteer Connection Holiday Opportunity and Donation Guide for ways you can give back.

Keep up good eating habits. Between parents too busy to cook a nutritious meal at home and all of the sugary holiday treats, kids and parents end up with a stressed out, hungry family. Plan at least one healthy meal as a family everyday. Remember to toss in a healthy snack while you're visiting the mall.

Attitude check. Both children and their parents need to have an attitude check before the holiday season begins. Take a deep breath, and have everyone in the family pledge to make the holiday season a time of joy and peace. Remind everyone that with the right attitude, that goal can be met. Remember to laugh together.

With some planning and attentive effort, everyone can enjoy and have fun during the holidays. For more information and resources, check out these links:
10 Ways to Reduce Kids' Stress
Helping Children Cope with Holiday Stress
Holiday Stress and Children
Alternatives for Youth's Resource Page for Boulder County services

November Events

Longmont had many, many events available for families for Halloween to keep the holiday safe and fun. November has some special events of its own, check out:

Saturday, November 15, 11:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at Skyline High School - Alternatives for Youth's "Catching Your Future" college fair for 8th-12th graders in the St. Vrain Valley School District. The free event will include information about:

• Funding Your Future: Scholarship Opportunities
• Show Me the $Money$: FAFSA Review
• Positive Changes: Volunteer Opportunities
• Go Further go to College: College in Colorado
• Making your Statement: Writing for College
• What College Can Do for You: College Invest
• Take Action Now!: High School & College Student

A light lunch will be provided to all registered participants! Door prizes!!! (participants must be present to win) If you have any questions please feel free to contact : Josie Vigil at 303-776-8184 ext. 112. The event is sponsored by SASSE (Sharing Achivement for Student Success in Education).

Sunday, November 16, 7:30 p.m., Alternatives for Youth and Niwot Timberline Symphony Orchestra's Latin Adventures and Winter Dreams concert sponsored by Wells Fargo Bank. The concert will feature the world premiere of "Orchestral Poem" by Ecuadorian composer in residence, Daniel Brito, music selections from Tchaikovsky, Ravel, and Ginastera performed by the symphony and performances by Alternatives for Youth’s Folklorico Dance Group and Longmont Breakers. Tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for youth, seniors and adults accompanying a free ticketholder. Tickets are available at the door. Contact AFY at 303.776.8184 for more information and to purchase tickets.

Lowe's Build and Grow Clinics on Saturday, November 8th - Semi-Truck and Saturday, November 22nd - Football Goal at 10:00 a.m. at the Lowe's in the Harvest Junction shopping center in Longmont. You can register and also see a picture of the projects by visiting Lowe's Build and Grow. Free for kids of all ages (recommended for first through fifth graders and younger kids with parent help).

Yes! Charter Schools are Free

As we approach December, it's time for parents of students entering kindergarten as well as parents looking for different school options for their school age children to consider all the public school options in the St. Vrain Valley School District. Public school options for students in the St. Vrain Valley School District include:

• Each students' community school, which are determined by district boundaries and can be found by clicking here, Boundaries - Schools.
• Open enrolling in a school other than a student's community school. Students may apply to open enroll in a school between December 1 and January 15 of each year. For more information, check out Open Enrollment and More Open Enrollment policies.
• Alternative schools for high school students at Old Columbine High School (including Open Door and the Career Development Center), Adult Education (Adult Education is for students over the age of 17), and Universal High School at Silver Creek High School.
  
• Charter schools, which are public and free schools open to all students in a district. Admissions at most charter schools are done through a lottery process. St. Vrain Valley School District will have five charter schools in the 2009-2010 school year, many of which will begin taking intent to enroll forms for the lotteries beginning December 1 and require parents to attend an informational meeting. For more information about each school, visit Charter Schools.

Each child is unique and deserves an education that meets his or her needs. St. Vrain Valley School District continues to expand available options, but it's up to parents to help their children find the best educational fit. It's not to early to start planning for the next school year!

No "Kid"ding . . . The Impact of Truancy

Alternatives for Youth (AFY) is dedicated to helping youth succeed in school and in life. To this end, we offer a continuum of services from prevention (through our Celebrando la Familia program) to intervention (through our NorthStar program) to rehabilitation (through our Clearview Educational Center program). This fall and expanding in the spring semester, we have begun an early intervention program, Community Advocates, in partnership with the St. Vrain Valley School District (SVVSD) to work specifically with truant students.

Why target truant students? For several reasons, including:

- At a minimum, truant students are likely to be ill-prepared for skilled work, an increasingly serious problem in the U.S. for both businesses and tax-payers when adults are unable to earn an adequate living and turn to various welfare programs for help. One calculation estimates that one high school dropout can be expected to cost the public in excess of $200,000 (in 1997 dollars) more over the course of his or her life then if he or she earned a high school degree.

- Problems with school have been shown to be a risk factor for drug and alcohol use and for involvement with the juvenile justice system, and students with school problems are often truant. Beyond the mere fact of juveniles involved in crime is the cost of juvenile delinquency. In 2007 , Boulder County had 822 juvenile delinquency filings. (Colorado Juvenile Delinquency Filings)

- In fact, in Colorado, over 90% of youth in detention for delinquent acts have a history of truancy; more than 70% of suspended youth were chronically truant in the preceding six months; and nearly half of expelled students have been chronically truant in the previous year. Truant students are also at higher risk of dropping out of school (for more information on high school dropouts from an earlier "No 'Kid'ding . . . " article, click here.

- Truancy is a red flag that may signal any number of problems in a student's home, including poverty, mental health, and physical abuse, or issues indirectly related to school. One of our Community Advocates recently worked with a truant student who missed school because she didn't want to dress for gym and had fallen so far behind in classes she had panic attacks before school.

- Responding to truancy costs the school district time and money as administrators contact parents, try to help students, and, on the extreme end, pay for court fees for truancy hearings.

- Minority students are at greater risk for truancy, thereby contributing to the achievement gap. In the SVVSD, Latino students face higher issues with attendance. Skyline and Frederick High Schools each have an 86% Latino attendance rate, considerably lower than the overall district attendance rate of 94%.

- The cost of effective programs that correct truancy greatly outweigh the tremendous costs of high school failure both financially and in helping youth succeed for a better individual and community quality of life.

Research shows that highly effective truancy prevention programs must:
· Be comprehensive, flexible, responsive, and persevering.
· View children in the context of their families.
· Deal with families as parts of neighborhoods and communities.
· Have a long-term, preventative orientation, a clear mission and continue to evolve over time.
· Be well managed by competent and committed individuals with clearly identifiable skills.
· Have staff that are trained and supported to provide high quality, responsive services.
· Operate in settings that encourage practitioners to build strong relationships based on mutual trust and
respect.
All of these elements are a part of AFY's Community Advocacy program to prevent truancy in the SVVSD.

For more information, check out these links:
Youth out of School: Linking Absence to Delinquency
The Cost and Benefits of Three Intensive Interventions with Colorado Truants
National Center for School Engagement
Can You Go to Jail if Your Kids Don't Go to School?

Can You Go to Jail If Your Kids Don't Go to School?

The answer is, yes, but not always (and hopefully truancy doesn't get to that point!). The Colorado School Attendance Law requires that each child between the ages of 7 and 17 shall attend public school unless otherwise excused. It is the obligation of every parent to ensure that every child under the parent’s care and supervision between the ages of 7 and 17 be incompliance with this statute.

In the St. Vrain Valley School District, "If a student is absent without a parent/guardian excuse or if the student leaves school or a class without permission of the teacher or administrator in charge, the student shall be considered truant. A 'habitual truant' shall be defined as a student of compulsory attendance age who has four unexcused absences from school or from class in any one month or 10 unexcused absences during any school year. Absences due to suspension or expulsion shall not be counted in the total of unexcused absences." (Code of Conduct and Discipline and Board of Education Policies, Rights and Responsibilities of Students and Parents, www.stvrain.k12.co.us/parents/disciplineConduct.php).

Each school has its own policy and procedure to handle truant and habitually truant students. At two schools in which Alternatives for Youth's staff work with habitually truant students, the process is as follows:

1. Parents receive a phone call about their child's truancy.
2. If there is no response, the parents receive a letter about setting up a meeting with the appropriate school personnel, possibly to include the school principal and attendance officer and/or Alternatives for Youth's community advocate, to review and evaluate the reasons for the student being habitually truant. If there is no response, a meeting time is set and parents are expected to attend.
3. During the meeting, a plan is developed for a student who is declared habitually truant with the goal of assisting the child to remain in school. When feasible, the child's parent, guardian or legal custodian participate with district personnel during the development of the plan. Appropriate school personnel make all reasonable efforts to meet with the parent, guardian or legal custodian to review and evaluate the reasons for the child's truancy.
4. If the plan is followed and students are no longer habitually truant, no further action is required. If the plan is not followed, the parent and student are referred to court for mediation with Judge Cole. During mediation, a plan is formed for the student to get back on track and a hearing date is set for follow-up.
5. If the plan is followed and students are found to be no longer habitually truant at the hearing, no further action is required. If the plan is not followed, either the parent(s) or student may serve jail time, depending on the court findings.

Truancy may seem like a "light" issue and jail time an extreme consequence; however, truancy is a risk factor for other problems, including warning signs of students headed for potential delinquent activity, social isolation, or educational failure via suspension, expulsion, or dropping out; and evidence of a lack of commitment to school, which has been established by several studies as a risk factor for substance abuse, delinquency, teen pregnancy, and school dropout. (www.schoolengagement.org/TruancypreventionRegistry/Admin/Resources/Resources/40.pdf)

As a parent, it is worth the time and effort to encourage your children to attend school. If you are a student, do all you can to go to school. Seek out resources if you need help - a great place to start is at your school. Extreme cases can end in jail time for parents or students.

No "Kid"ding . . . Homework Help

October is a big month for our students with first quarter report cards coming out and October 1 being Colorado's student count date. As grades come home, parents may be wondering how to help students improve their grades. Although we are all tempted to spend our afternoons and evenings relaxing and having fun, one way parents can help is through homework. Did you know:

- Homework is good for children and can boost academic learning and teach them responsibility.

- Research indicates that children who spend more time on regularly assigned, meaningful homework, on average, do better in school and that when homework is turned in to the teacher, graded, and discussed with students, it can improve students' grades and understanding of their schoolwork.

- The academic benefits of homework increase as children move into the upper grades.

- While extending what students learn in school and linking school to the home, homework is also a time for students to learn important study skills, organization and time management.

- Parents and families play an important role in the process. Together, families and teachers can help children develop good study habits and attitudes to become lifelong learners. Some things that parents can do to help their students include:

• Provide a quiet, well-lit space, away from distractions. Be creative if space is limited.
  
  
• Provide all the right study materials - paper, pens and pencils, books, a dictionary, a desk - in that one spot.
  
  
• Try to find a separate space for each of your children or schedule quiet times for homework in designated spaces.
• Set a regular family "quiet time" where you and your children can work together on homework, reading, letter writing and playing games.
  
  
• Turn off the TV set. Some children do seem to study well with music or the radio playing so allow music if your child is still able to study.
• Allow your children to study in the way each of them learns best. For example, some children work best when they're lying on the floor with background music playing.
  
  
• Teach your child that studying is more than just doing homework assignments. Encourage your child to do things like: take notes on a chapter he or she is reading and learn to skim material, to study tables and charts, to summarize what he or she has read in his own words, and to make his or her own flashcards.
• Help if it is clearly productive to do so, such as calling out spelling words or checking a math problem, but don't help if it is something the child can clearly handle himself and learn from the process.
• Avoid simply giving an answer. Instead, ask questions that let your child see the problem in smaller, sequential steps.
• A number of schools have after school programs to help with homework. Check your school to see if this available if your child needs it. Alternatives for Youth provides Homework Clubs at Columbine and Rocky Mountain Elementary and Heritage and Longs Peak (for 8th grade) Middle Schools.
  
  

You can find more information about how to help with homework (and what to do if you don't know how to help) at the following websites:
Child Development Institute
Family Education
National Education Association

Teen Girls and the Media

An article in the September 22, 2008 issue of Time, "The Truth about Teen Girls: So you think they're having sex too soon and it's the media's fault. It's not that simple," discusses the interplay of media, girls' self-image, and what appears to be an increasingly younger girlhood sexiness (even if girls may or may not actually be having sex at a younger age). Celebrity teen pregnancy scandals, Massachusetts' Gloucester High School pregnancy pact among teen girls, the movie Juno, tv shows like The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Gossip Girl draw attention to the issue of early sexual activity and teen pregnancy. According to data released by the Centers for Disease Control in 2007, the rate of 15- to 19-year-old girls giving birth is increasing, and Longmont continues to have the highest teen birth rate in all of Boulder County, accounting for 60% of teen births in the county in 2002-2003.

What are parents to do? In regards to media, parents can help educate teenagers - especially girls - about media literacy and direct their girls to positive media, such as Girls, Inc. Media literacy is the ability to access, analyze, evalute and produce a variety of media texts. In other words, media literacy is becoming an active viewer who understands the impact of media. PBS Parents recommends the following tips for helping teens to develop media literacy for TV and movies (more information about younger ages and other media can be found on the PBS Parents' website):

1. Talk to your teen about TV's "tricks of the trade." Point out patterns: laugh tracks and live audiences on half-hour sitcoms, themed subplots running through hour-long dramas, unrealistic elements in "reality" shows or a dominant point of view that drives documentaries. Rather than channel-surf during commercials, mute the sound and talk to your teen.

2. Find out if TV images affect your teen's self image. Popular culture can dictate what's cool and what it means to be accepted. Knowing this, talk to your teen about media messages. Start a conversation by asking your teen how she feels (Do you envy that character?), whether the show reflects her life (Do you know anyone who looks or acts like that?) and what she knows (Do you think that's really what happens in a trial?).

3. Help your teen question what he sees. By talking back to the TV when a show doesn't make sense or an ad makes unrealistic claims, your teen will learn not to accept what is portrayed on TV as the truth.

4. Talk to your teen about the links between content and ads. To grasp the economics of programming, get your teen in the habit of spotting product placement. Why do companies use TV shows to market their products? (to get viewers to link a brand with popular actors; to build brand awareness). You might ask about a certain ad: Who do you think is watching this show? What are the marketers trying to sell? How do you react emotionally to that ad?

5. Exercise remote control. When watching a movie at home, go back to certain scenes and pick them apart with your teen. Decide if the scene was important by hashing out questions like these: How did that scene develop the story? Did it set a mood? What did it reveal about the lead character?

6. Talk about how media coverage shapes our understanding of the world. Ask your teen how she knows what she knows about life in other countries. When watching a news report, pose questions about the story's images, "facts," quotes and "experts." Make connections between how a news story is put together, how it makes you and your teen think, and what it makes you both feel. Explain how bias can infect journalism. Urge your teen to find out more rather than believing what she hears from a single source.

For more information, check out the following websites:
National Association for Medial Literacy Education
PBS Parents
Project Literacy Among Youth (PLAY)